A satirical game for iPhone · Midterms 2026
Subpoena Season
Congress changes hands. The paperwork piles up. You choose who gets called first. Pick your witnesses, follow the Daily Playbook, shave a Beardo and rename the Lincoln Memorial. Accountability, but make it a game.
Parody and satire. Not news, not legal advice, no allegations of fact. Any resemblance to real events is what happens when reality refuses to be subtle.
What is in the box
One app. One deadline. Eight ways to feel mildly better about the news cycle.
The Witness Deck
21 caricatured public figures as collectible cards. Flip them for the satirical back: public record, sourced controversies, zero invented quotes. Tap for fullscreen so even the fine print is readable.
Your Picks
Choose the people your imaginary investigative committee calls first. Pick a topic, a time window, or write your own reason (80 characters of pure oversight).
The Daily Playbook
Every day, a recurring move from the political repertoire: the rename, the tariff, the announced check, the “Blame Biden, then Obama” classic. Each entry comes with a source. Satire needs receipts.
Epstein Memory
A 3×3 memory game in which every tile is the same redacted document. Match them all and the law passes, and we still know nothing more. Documents only. No persons, no victims.
Shave a Beardo
Drag to shave. Hit 96 % and you are officially REGULATION COMPLIANT. Beat your best time.
Canada Special
Rename the 50 states on an interactive map, swap landmarks, and share the result. Friendly, polite, slightly smug. Sorry in advance.
Your Own Candidates
Create custom cards with your own photo, name and title. They stay on your device. Be fair, be funny, be lawful (see Community Rules).
Witness Notices
Every fifth launch the app serves an important notice to the summoned. Nothing a real lawyer would sign.
How a season works
- 1. Choose your picks. Your first call list for the investigative committee.
- 2. Read the Playbook. Each day brings a documented move, with its source.
- 3. Score the day. Verified events count. Opinions do not. Receipts or it did not happen.
- 4. Play, share, rename. Games and the Canada Special for the long weeks in between.
Our ground rules
- Satire of public conduct, never of private people.
- No invented quotes. No claims of guilt. Sources or silence.
- No real-money gambling. No prizes. No ads. No tracking.
- Your own cards are for your device, and they must be lawful.
Questions, answered under oath
- Is this real?
- No. It is political satire and parody. It does not claim that any depicted person committed a crime. It is a game.
- Can I win money?
- No. No real-money bets, no stakes, no prizes. Bragging rights only, and those are non-transferable.
- Who is behind it?
- An independent developer in Germany. Not affiliated with any government, party, campaign or depicted person.
- Is it on Android?
- Not yet. iPhone first, because we have a deadline called November 3.
- Will there be leagues with friends?
- Yes, planned for a post-election update: private leagues, invite links, leaderboards. League Pass ($9.99, one-time in-app purchase) is also required for invited friends.
- What does it cost?
- One-time purchase of $4.99 on the App Store. No ads, no tracking, no subscription.
The fine print (the actual one)
Subpoena Season is an independent political satire and prediction game. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by or connected to any government, agency, political party, campaign or any person depicted. Depictions are caricatures and parody. Statements in the app refer to publicly reported events and are marked with sources; they are not allegations of fact or of criminal conduct. All persons are presumed innocent.